What I’ve been struggling with lately is this:

You have to take photographs to be a photographer.

Seems pretty self-explanatory, doesn’t it?

Well, recently, I have definitely NOT been a photographer. I am not ashamed to admit that I have been feeling as though I am in the midst of a dry spell when it comes to finding inspiration or interesting things to capture through my lens. I’m not sure if it is because I’ve been extremely busy, or whether it goes deeper and I’m subconsciously taking a step back from the craft as a whole. If I’m being honest (which I hope to always be on this blog), then I would have to say that I haven’t felt the thrill of holding my camera and discovering sights and moments through it lately. I don’t know if it’s because I’m bored of it or my creativity has checked out or what.

Whatever it is, I’m feeling okay with it.

And that, in the same instance, scares me and thrills me.

For one, I am scared to think that my passion for photographing things and people could be extinguished so unexpectedly and so quickly. I am scared to admit that I am not always taking photos with endless creativity because if I do admit that, you (meaning the readers of this blog, my clients, my prospective clients, the population in general, etc.) may see me as a fake or a phony based on my claim that I am a photographer. If I have these bouts of indifference towards my camera, I am told (through other blogs or other photographers’ opinions) it means I am not a true photographer. And I so want to be! So it scares me to admit to the world that I am going through a photographic dry spell.

On the other hand, it also thrills me to think that I can accept this point in my life as being what it is and possibly just what it needs to be. It’s thrilling to think that I can be okay with putting the camera down for a while and living my life instead of just trying to record it. That I can embrace the dry spell, and start storing away little creative bits and pieces for another time when it may be more feasible for me to flesh them out and really work on them. I may just be at a stretch of road that doesn’t include photographs. And that can be okay.

Does that mean I’m giving up on this craft completely and that this whole time I’ve just been pretending to love it? Of course not. It just means that I am allowing myself to take a step back, let the inspiration come if it will, and not force it. I never produce really great work if I’m trying to force it, and I’m slowly learning this. 

So yes, while these recent moments in my life have been ones of photographic non-existence, I am learning to release the self-imposed pressure that comes with them, inwardly telling me that I need to produce something of interest and beauty and substance and I need to do it right this moment or else I’ll be exposed as a fraud. I’m allowing it to unfold and naturally happen if it will, without getting caught up in the “what will people think” trap. And trust me, that is a very hard thing for me to do, but I’m working on it.

The way I can do this is by remembering that I know that it will come back. I know that one day I’ll pick up my camera again and lovingly start shooting away. It will happen.

 

Busy busy!

Well, I wish I could say we’ve been up to amazing summer adventures and that’s why I haven’t posted anything in a while. The truth is that we’ve just been busy doing normal, everyday things that include hanging out at home, visiting with some friends and family, and working. A lot.

The boys are having fun in the backyard, we’re grilling and playing and, oh yeah, hanging all our clothes to dry on the line outside. Again.

Maybe that’s why I haven’t been blogging – because all of my extra blogging energy that I usually have has been sucked up by the laundry. Because we’ve been without a working dryer for almost 4 weeks now! We previously have had the same part in the dryer replaced 3 times, and so GE finally agreed to just replace the whole thing. Now it’s a waiting game, hoping the new dryer will get here soon and will finally WORK! Because as much as I love the simplicity and homey feel of line-dried laundry, I would like to go back to being able to do more than one load a day…

In other big Lakey family news – we’ve both gotten new callings at church! The hubby is now teaching the Deacons (12-13 year olds) while I am the Relief Society 2nd Counselor. They are both big changes for us, but we’re really excited for them! The hubby loves to work with the youth, and he’s been helping them to organize the sacrament passing duties a little better, since there was no real plan of action before. He wasn’t able to go to scout camp with them this last week because of work, but he’s looking forward to upcoming activities.

As for me, I don’t know how my name came up for this calling, but I’m actually really excited about it. I’m directly in charge of the activities, so I’ve been researching different activity ideas for the sisters, as we need to have a transfusion of new energy with regards to our meetings during the week. It’s a big job, but I’m very optimistic about where we can take it.

(If any of you creative types have ideas or blogs that have good activity ideas, please pass them along to me. Thanks!)

So yeah, that sums up my last couple of weeks in a nutshell.

But I’ve also been busy scrapping, wanna see?

This layout uses: From the Desk Of Collection Biggie, From the Desk Of Embellishment Mini 1 – Frames, ScrapSimple Embellishment Templates: Threadbare Shapes Biggie, and ScrapSimple Digital Layout Album Templates: 12x12 Mini Clusters.

This layout is from my birthday this year. I got to visit with my best friend Summer, and play games with her and the hubby, so that was a lot of fun. Plus, we ate at one of my favorite local restaurants, Anchos, which has the yummiest tortillas.

This layout uses: Seascape Collection, ScrapSimple Tools - Actions: Stacked Photos PS Mini 6501, ScrapSimple Tools - Styles: Sand 6501 Biggie, ScrapSimple Embellishment Templates: Sweet Flowers, and By the Sea Collection Mini.

This one is of a picture from a while back (two years ago now!) of E at the beach. I sometimes miss those days when we lived only 15 minutes away from the beach and could just jump in the car and drive down for a few hours at a time. I am still grateful that we’re still only a car-ride away from the same beaches, it’s just a little longer these days.

This layout uses: Scenic Route Collection Biggie, ScrapSimple Paper Templates: Textured Paint, Dynamic Brush Set: Textured 8201, A Gardener's Diary Collection
Rustique Collection Biggie, Falling Leaves Collection Mini, Noteworthy Collection Biggie and Brush Set: Flowers in Silhouette 1.

Okay, this one still makes me laugh whenever I see it! One day E was complaining that he wanted to go to school NOW, he did not want to wait until he was older. I explained to him (for the thousandth time) that he had to be older to go to the school down the street with the big kids and that he would just have to be patient and wait. But he came up with a better idea. A little later in the day, he asked me to make him a beard from construction paper. By this time I had forgotten all about the earlier school conversation, so I complied without really thinking about it, assuming he just wanted to dress up or something.

Then E found what looked like an ‘old man hat’ to him, put that on along with the beard, and came over to me and said, “Mom, now I can go to school because I’m older!”

I seriously was busting up laughing, a) because he’s so dang cute in that beard and old man hat, and b) because he’s so very smart and always thinking up solutions to any sort of problem or obstacle that we try to put in his way. I really love that about him (and hate it sometimes, too). But he sure keeps my life interesting!

This layout uses: Bespoke Collection, Bespoke Solids Paper Mini, Zac and Sarah Collection Biggie, ScrapSimple Embellishment Templates: Just Strings, ScrapSimple Tools - Actions: Magnetic Poetry 5001, ScrapSimple Paper Templates: Sew Torn Up, and Cruising Collection.

This layout is in honor of my little brother, who is coming home from his church mission very, very soon! I haven’t seen him and 2 years, and although I still have to wait until Christmas to do so, I’m excited for him to get home and get back into the swing of life. He’ll only have a week or two to acclimate back to normal life before he’s whisked back off to college and the fun life. :) I’m sure he’ll have a different perspective on things now that he’s gone through this experience, but I know that he’ll have lots of fun and still be quite the lady charmer.

These photos are ones of him riding this huge skateboard that he sent back to us one day and I love the caption he wrote for them: “It’s amazing that I can still find time to skateboard out here.” Too cute.

Well, that’s pretty much what life has been like for us recently. We’re glad that things are going well on the work front for the hubby, and the return of the RAISE this year! It’s truly a blessing, as we did not receive one last year and it really threw our financial plans out of whack. But now things are all good and we’re happy to be where we are.

Unless, of course, you know of a great IT managing jobs in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, let me know!!! :D